Federally Mandated Love Survey
(6 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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After our 45th president impulsively married a woman he met online days before he was to take office, he enacted the compatibility law. This states that anyone wishing to be married must answer a series of rigorous questions designed to predict your success as a couple.
Some of the questions, which were chosen by the foremost psychologists of the day, were a little strange. They included questions like:
What color are your boogers?
When was the last time you thought about putting a summer squash down your pants?
Does your ideal pet have the name Shirly?
Would you consent to having someone lick your eye?
When I say the word “strudel” what color can you taste?
How many L’s are in your imaginary band’s name?
Do this smell?
The creators of these questions assured us they were chosen as scientifically as possible. Some even stated they were the only questions that mattered. It was later revealed these questions were placed very carefully by a marketing consultant who knew most everyone had grown up filling out random surveys online. This was a brilliant strategy which lead to the widespread adoption of the compatibility law, and it’s strange questions.
August 31st, 2007 at 6:24 am
Do this smell? Does this smell? hmm
August 31st, 2007 at 6:28 am
It’s written that way because it’s a quote from a very obscure comic book by a very famous indy comic book artist. It’s a test to see how cool my fans are, and to alienate them at the same time. That’s how I roll.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:37 pm
You alienate me, sir. Oh, and yellow or maybe light brown. Maybe something darker too. About the strudel, that is.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:46 pm
I wonder if this also means you’d have to pay a fine if your marriage fails. And whether there would be a good governemental matchmaking service, since more than half of all new couples seem to break up within the next 2 years?