WTTF:

With machines doing 100% of the production work, creativity became the driving force for the advancement of the human race. This of course changed the methods of applying for a job considerably. Resumes were no longer sufficient (unless they were used for parody), and many jobs were now hinged on ones ability to select the craziest outfit.

WTTF is always here to help. That is why we have compiled this list of the 10 most popular job interview questions from the future.

1. How did you get here, and did you build it yourself?

This question is certainly made to weed out anyone traveling in “terrorist vehicles”. This is the name given to anything that gets below 100mpg. Bonus points are usually awarded to anyone that uses a retro mode of transportation (ie skateboard, skooter, or wheelbarrow) with a few home made modern hacks. To date, anyone that arrives at a job interview on the hovering skateboard from “Back to the Future” has never gone home without a job.

2. What does the word “job” really mean anyway?

Be careful, this is a tricky question. It’s designed to make the recruiter seem like a flighty imbecile. The odds are that he or she is a black ops psychologist trying to catch anyone prone to extreme job advancement, or that they are videotaping your response. Companies in the future love to mess with people, as most are owned by those who wrote the prank television shows of the early 21st century.

3. If this company was a boat, what kind of a boat would it be?

There is only one answer to this question, and that is, “A pirate ship”. Extra points are usually awarded to anyone that says, “A pirate ship with slave ninjas”. However, this may not be a good thing to say, as some recruiters are still a little sore about losing the war after siding with the ninjas (see: The human resources war of 2014). Use careful judgment when answering this question with anything involving ninjas.

4. Did your last job have any good ideas?

Most creative can tell you that talent imitates, and genius steals. In order to impress your possible new employer, you’re going to need some hefty stolen ideas. Thankfully, lots of companies already know this, and take great pains to provide you with fake ideas for at least a few months before they fire you. This is known as, “snipe trading”.

5. Do you remember (insert old tv show)?

In the future, a large portion of the human brain is devoted to remembering old TV shows. This is how evolution works after centuries of passive entertainment. Perspective employers want to know that you’ve got a good foundation of Simpsons episodes from which to draw your creativity in a pinch. The higher up the position you are applying for, the more obscure these TV show questions will become. If you’re looking for a senior level position, you’ll need to know at least a few episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess. Be especially up to date with on TV show if your interviewer is a lesbian.

6. Why do you want to work at all?

This is actually a very pertinent question. Now that machines are making nearly everything a human could ever want, why does anyone need to work? Recruiters, upon hearing your answer, will lump you into either the, “hellbent on world domination” category or the “I’ve been driving my significant other crazy” category. No matter what you’ve heard, either category is ok. This question is something everyone asks in the future, very much like asking why humans were put on earth.

7. What would you like to earn at this job?

The best recorded answer to this question is “A sense of self worth”. Employers like to hear that you are a broken person, easily shaped and restructured in the company image. This is why the future top job recruiting website is named brokenpeoplejobs.com. For the strong willed, there are moral destroying wilderness retreats available. Most involve sorting e-mails while listening old customer service tapes until you develop a good case of IBS, or “proletariat disease” as it is known in the future.

8. How many t-shirts have you designed?

It only took a few decades after the arrival of on-demand printed t-shirts for everyone in the world to have designed a t-shirt. Your prospective employer is looking for a quantitative number. No one in the future is impressed with the quality of your design work, but achieving a large amount of different designs will definitely wow them. Just because everything is being produced by machines doesn’t mean an employer wants employees to act like humans.

9. Who do you hate?

Good rivalry is always encouraged in the modern creative work force. It inspires otherwise stagnant people to get up and do something. The best answer is usually the most obvious one, the competition.

10. Gouda or Wooden Spoon?

There is always at least one random question, which usually signifies the recruiter has stopped listening, and is probably doodling. Feel free to answer this question however you’d like, the more vulgar the better.

Want some serious job searching tips? Try these out:

• A positive outlook for the new job search.
• How to answer the inevitable question from job recruiters.
• An unconventional way to go about your job search.
• 17 Stunning questions I hope I never hear from a job recruiter.
• The blog carnival for success with some helpful tips