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Apathy Monster, A song by clintondavidm from the shirt.woot.com board.

Starting right this minute, I will draw you a 100% original custom comic for one low fee of $50 (plus shipping).

What do you get for $50?

You get to boss me around and tell me what to write and draw. You get to feel smugly superior. You also get an original black and white comic on a piece of 9″ X 12″ bristol board mailed to wherever your secret base is.

What will your comic look like?

That’s a good question. Here’s an example of one I did in a couple of hours:

Your cartoon will probably look different.

What can you do with a custom comic?

You can frame it and hang it on your wall. You can publish it in your magazine or blog. You can fix it a romantic dinner and gaze longingly into it’s eyes. You can burn it in the streets as a sign of protest. You can send it to your parents as a Christmas present right before they disown you. You can wear it like a hat.

How to order:

People within the United States region can either renounce their citizenship or use the order form below:

Orders within the US ($3 shipping):

E-mail Address:

What do you want this cartoon to be about?

International people can give me a high five, and use this super exclusive order form below:

Order from anywhere other than the US ($8 shipping):

E-mail Address:

What do you want this cartoon to be about?

How long will it take to receive a cartoon?

The time it takes to draw these varies with each idea, and how many orders I have. On a best case scenario, I’ll have no other orders and get yours drawn and shipped in one day, but expect up to 3 days just to be safe. If there’s going to be a large delay I’ll contact you as soon as possible to let you know about it. Once it’s shipped, there really is nothing we can do but pray and sacrifice daytime television celebrities.

Thank you for your order with Welcome to the Future conglomerate incorporated services esquire. Seriously thanks. If you have any questions or concerns with your order contact:

jeremy[at]wttf.org

Pre-order this shirt until July 23rd for only $15

Introducing bleachbot, a softly bleached T-shirt with nothing but your best interests in mind. Made from the fine folks at American Apparel, and hand bleached by yours truly. This is the shirt for anyone that wants something I’ve had my gloved hands all over. Fulfill your creepiest stalker desires now.

Every bleachbot shirt is a 50/50 blend of polyester and cotton. They come pre-washed, and ready to wear when delivered to the door of your apocalypse bunker.

Each bleachbot shirt will vary slightly in texture and color (between a brownish gold, and a silver color), which will only serve to enhance your uniqueness within the great cogs of society’s machine.

Pre-sale orders will start shipping on the 23rd of July, and the price will go up to $17 dollars after that.

Shipping is $3 within the United States, and $7 internationally (%8 sales tax will be added for NY residents only):